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Not That Kind of Girl

by Jason Lenov

John's uptight wife loosens up when he suggests they start a family. An innocent girl's night out and a lewd suggestion by his friend send John spiralling into a fantasy he didn't know he had. As his secret comes out Lisa's newfound enthusiasm for intimacy ignites. But will John be able to stand watching Lisa follow through?

Chapter One

“Ha! Four of a kind, bitches!” Craig slapped his hands together and rubbed them after throwing his cards face up on the table. He reached out and raked in his winnings.
Terry shook his head. Roy rolled his eyes. “Come on girls, who’s up for another game?” Craig asked, his eyes gleaming as he surveyed the cash in front of him.
“Sorry I’m out,” Terry replied. “Jen would probably kill me if I lost any more money.”
“Ooh,” Craig said, puckering his lips as he taunted Terry. “The leash is on tight.”
Terry sighed.
“Yeah I think I’m going to head home, too.” Roy said.
Craig waved his hand at the two of them and turned his attention to me. “What do you say, Ken-doll?”
The nickname had aggravated me from the moment Craig had coined it. But Craig was the kind of guy that if he knew something was getting under your skin, he’d just keep hammering away at it until you snapped.
I wasn't one to snap easily.
“Yeah, no. I think I’m good. Val’s probably going to be home soon.”
Craig stared at me, nodding. “Right, right. That smoking hot wife of yours.”
It was my turn to sigh.
The first Friday of every month that the boys would come over for a poker game. It was a tradition we’d started in college Roy, Terry, Craig and I.
Well, actually, it had just been Roy, Terry and I at first. Back then we were self-described dorks, spending late nights coding in the computer lab or playing MMORPG’s until the sun came up.
Craig was of a different ilk, if you will. Frat parties and the rowing club were more his scene. He came from money and had that strong-jawed “the world owes me things” look about him.
We’d only connected because of a for-credit tutoring program. Craig was having a hard time in one of the math classes he needed for his degree and I was kind of a whiz at math. One of my professors suggested that I look into the program because there weren’t enough tutors to meet demand.
So I got paired up with Craig and spent three hours a week in the library with him trying to wrap his slightly thick head around advanced algebra. After two months of that we got to know each other.
Now normally I would have been totally turned off by a guy like Craig. He had everything he could ask for. His parents had bought him a car for college. He got a new laptop every year and always had the latest uPhone. His dad had a cushy position all lined up for him at one of his companies, no matter how well he did at college. He was there more for the experience and the ride. But it turned out Craig wasn’t interested. This only came out at the end of our time together. He didn’t want any part of the life he’d grown up in. He insisted he was going to become a carpenter and was only at college to appease his parents.
I didn’t believe him at first. I mean, come on. Yeah, right. Guy with a huge inheritance coming his way one day is going to throw it all away so he can spend his days sawing wood? I didn’t see it.
But Craig was adamant. And he kind of grew on me, obnoxious as he was. So I asked the boys if they’d mind if I invited him to one of our sessions. I almost felt a little sorry for him, I’m not sure why.
The rest, as they say, is history. We’d been playing the first Friday of the month for almost six years now. Craig was still as crass and immature as he’d been when I was his tutor. But there was something funny about his bro-ish attitude and off-colour jokes. Maybe because it took us back to simpler times.
“Hey, Ken-doll,” Craig said, snapping his fingers in front of my face. “You hear what I say about your wife? She’s smoking hot. You breed that pussy yet?”
“Wow,” Roy said, putting up his palms. “I think that might be over the line, boss.”
I chuckled despite a familiar tightness worming it’s way down into my gut. “Whatever. She is smoking hot. And even though it’s none of your business the answer is “no.” I have not bred her pussy yet.” I stared Craig straight in the eye, because sometimes that’s what you had to do with Craig to get him back in line. Go a little alpha on him.
He cocked his head and smiled. “What’s your problem, bud? Your guys not swimming? If she were mine that belly’d been filled a few times by now. How long you guys been married? Three years?” “Unbelievable,” Terry muttered, pushing his chair away from the table. “You’re unbelievable you know that?”
“Hey I’m just messing, man! Don’t get all Suzy Shortcake on me and leave in a huff!”
“What does that even mean?” Terry asked. “Who the fuck is Suzy Shortcake? And this is not a huff. I’m going home because I’m broke and tired and wouldn’t mind a few hours sleep before the baby wakes up. See you guys.” Terry closed the door to the room and a short while later we heard the front door slam shut.
“Yeah I’m going to head out, too,” Roy said. He reached across the table to shake Craig’s hand. Craig took his and gave it a quick shake before jerking him forward, nearly sending the small poker table flying. He burst into a loud and obnoxious cackle. “Hey sorry, man! I’m just messing with you!”
Roy shook his head, rubbed his arm and patted me on the back. “Thanks for the game, Ken,” he said before seeing himself out.
As soon as he was gone, Craig simmered right down. I leaned back in my chair and stared at him as he shifted in his seat and didn’t know what to do with his eyes. Because this was the real Craig. The Craig I’d learned about in bits and pieces over those few months we spent in the library together. A slightly anxious, sometimes insecure guy who covered it all up by playing a way over the top frat boy jerk who called everyone names. But the reason I still liked Craig, and the reason I made Roy and Terry sit through games with him, was because while I went on to med school, Craig had gone on to become one of the most sought after carpenters and handymen in the greater Metro area. His parents had been livid. His father had nearly disowned him. He’d threatened to write him out of his will.
I’m still not sure how that ended, or if it had been resolved.
But Craig Parker had gone out into the world and become his own man.
No matter how annoying he could be, I had to respect that.
“So where is she?” Craig asked, pulling me from my thoughts.
“She’s having a girls night out.”
Craig eyed me, a little warily.
“What?” I asked.
Craig shook his head. “Aren’t you worried about that shit, man?”
“What shit?”
“Girls night out?”
I frowned, not sure what I should be worried about. “Why should I be worried.”
“Dude, Valerie is a fucking fine looking woman,” Craig explained.
“Yeah? So?”
“So? So you’ve got to lock that shit down,” he said, stabbing a finger into the poker table.
“Lock it down?”
“I mean you better put a baby into that so she knows where home is. You just let her go out to girls night with the girls? How do you know where she is right now?”
I shrugged. “I don’t. They’re probably at a coffee shop or something.”
Craig raised an eye. “Yeah. Or, like, a strip club?”
The idea was so absurd as to be laughable. So I laughed.
“Why are you laughing?” Craig asked.
“Because Val would never, not in a million years, set foot in a strip club. She’s not that kind of girl,” I said, drying a tear from the corner of my eye.
Craig shrugged. “You think guys never make a pass at anyone in a coffee shop?” he asked. “I’ll tell you when they definitely won’t make a pass. When they see a pregnant woman. That shuts everything right down.”
I rolled my eyes. “You’re hilarious, you know that? And stop saying Val’s hot around Terry and Roy. It makes them uncomfortable.”
“Whatever, man. Suit yourself. I wish I had a woman I could trust like that.”
“Okay, well, thanks for the advice. You better get going she’s going to be home soon. You still good to start the bathroom next week?”
Craig stood up and nodded, folding the wad of bills he’d arranged on the table into his pocket. “All good,” he said, then grinned. “If you’re sure you don’t mind me being alone in the house with your wife all day."